Uncharted Lovescapes: Confession of a People Watcher

“Someday, I’ll be falling without caution. But for now, I’m only people watching” – Conan Gray.

Throughout my teenage years, I’ve read maybe a hundred novels, listened to love songs, and watched a few hundred more movies, series, and Asian dramas. This raised the bar for my standards in men and relationships, making me the “hopeless romantic” to the point I questioned myself: Is this kind of love even possible? Do individuals who embody these romantic ideals genuinely exist? Am I aiming too high?

Not experiencing romantic love also took a toll on my self-worth. Should I be more attractive? Should I be more interesting? Do I not deserve to experience love? Should I be worth the risk? These questions have been lingering in my mind for the past years. 

All my life, I’ve always been the reader but never the main character. Yet, despite the vast array of characters and narratives unfolding before my eyes, I couldn’t shake the feeling of perpetually residing in the background of my own story. When will I be the heather?

Until then, I remain a silent observer, a curator of emotions, and a hopeful romantic navigating the love scapes I have yet to encounter before the spotlight shines that it’s now my turn.

For now, I’m just a museum of everyone and everything I’ve loved.

PHOTO SOURCE(s): Gabrielle Nicole Salagubang

LAYOUT ARTIST(s): Christian Aviv Cruz