𝐓𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐁𝐄

I set the 6 AM alarm to jolt me awake — thinking about how to get up as if my bed was pulling me away from reality. Tomorrow is the day of the dreaded On-Boarding Exam. I don’t know how to feel; the thought makes my stomach drop. I dragged myself out of bed; my limbs felt heavy today. Cracking open my materials, equations and terms blur together. How can I make sense of this when I can barely keep my eyes open?

Where am I supposed to start when everything is scattered around? This test wasn’t a contest, but why would I be at the last? Doubts creep in as I imagine failing and having to repeat the exam. I push them back, trying to hold onto fragile confidence. I have prepared, didn’t I?

I poured my mind into concepts to understand the complexity of accountancy — where do I start when my two brows meet in the middle on every page? Furrowed by the thought, I knew this concept but forgot how it was computed.

Even though I have tested the waters for all of my college life, am I still a brave soldier in this worthwhile fight? Doubts drown me to keep pushing until I balance even the last piece of centavos. All of my strength is given up to every page, from every book to the ting sound of the calculator, and every single time — I won’t stop using my yellow paper until the ABC company finally learns how to manage its sales and finances.

What if accounting isn’t for me? Should I give up on being a CPA? Is it time to change course? And what if I fail? I haven’t graduated yet, but if I fail this exam, does that mean I have already failed?

I feel choked about this tremendous event since I have heard it from my seniors. I had to admit that I didn’t want to retake examinations. I want to start with flashes of fire and sparks like I have that burning passion in my youthful years.

I shake my head to push away doubtful thoughts. I’m one of many running on this path. Plenty of others retook the exam and made it. Even if they didn’t receive triumphs initially, there will always be a second chance. I have to believe in myself. Give it my all at each moment.

The OBE is my chance to continue this program with the same school. But, it is also my biggest obstacle to moving forward. I know the stakes, the strict policies. One failure could change the planned blueprint. But this is me, gathering everything with my chest proud. I embrace confidence in my heart with the faith at hand.

A deep breath. This is it. I can run away from it, but it won’t be worthwhile if I give up in the beginning. I take the big leap, and I know I can do this. The exam is placed in front of me. I steel myself, block out self-doubt, and begin.

A test is just a test. But, this test is a matter of choice. Not everyone has the requirements to allow them to take an OBE, so don’t be ashamed to survive and give everything you’ve got.

For those who have chosen this path, don’t be harsh to yourself; taking rest is valid. Believe in yourself; everything will be in its right place.

You can make it.

LAYOUT ARTIST(S): Boris Sebastian Lontabo

PHOTO SOURCE(S): Kimberly_darmer-masaratah