Lost in Canvas

My life is an abstract painting that I create freely,

I let my feelings out,— it’s messy, who am I really?

“I” who always try to figure out every day,

I change for them and always lose myself away.

Who am I? Is this still me? 

I ask myself – bowed and rekindled a plea.

Out of frustration, I stroke the brush missing,

The ashy smell of charcoal on the canvas lingered flourishing.

Filled with mussy lines and a rough theme of glee,

The bad memories are running behind me while I’m trying to be free.

Scared, overthinking other people’s views that I fought,

The eraser rested at the table, tired of clearing my thoughts.

Dull paint on the canvas that I came up with,

Lack of color and happiness caged me with frith.

Mind in chaos, bursting out of different emotions,

It’s too hazy, the lines get zigzag as a result of the situation. 

The cold wind was howling while I was trying to paint,

I despise my life, why are all of the people nourishing constraints?

 I look up and pray,

“Help me, I want to escape this misery.”

Someone whispers, out of the blue

“Trust me, my child, I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

I woke up from the dream and faced reality,

Stripping down the standard of society.

I stared at the canvas, conditioning my hands for a stroke,

“Oh, my canvas, the world will finally appreciate you for being unique,” I evoked.

I sketch myself into a piece of paper, making it an attraction,

The pencil is determined to put my visions into action.

I erase my worries behind and carry all the lessons I learned,

I am brave to face the fears about wreaking that will amaze the world.

Storming of confidence as the brush soaks,

“Oh my brush, do whatever you want, rule your canvas, and create your stoke.”

Spent a thousand hours staring at a beautiful creation 

It embraces the importance of self, with no need for explanation.

A pastiche of memories as a beautiful depiction,

My smile is a mile wide proudly sharing it with a mesmerizing emotion.

A tight grip on this blissful canvas feeling done,

Hearing the cheerful words and claps of everyone.

See me rise as tall as the sun, make others bow,

No one can bring me down, as I know myself now.

LAYOUT ARTIST(S): Christian Aviv Cruz