All Too Well

“Ano raw?”

It is euphoric for freshmen to be on cloud nine as soon as they step into college, and maybe it gets more exciting for a Taylor Swift fan like me.

As I try to incorporate her songs into the phases of my life, I’d say this is where All Too Well joins my journey with its confusion and the echoes of: “Ano raw?” running through my mind.

Amidst draining days where I constantly heard formulas and overloaded information, my friends never failed to glance and ask me the magic phrase: “Ano raw?” as if bewildered and struggling to understand.

It was like a memory I could not shake off, and I carry it with me even now.

And for some reason, I became used to it inside the pages of my first-year college experience. I would repeatedly ask myself, “Ano raw?” “Paano raw?” like how All Too Well played around my head for the nth time.

From there, it would hit me again. The song was filled with complicated emotions from the past while being lost in the concept of love parallels the loss of clarity of my purpose.

Before college, I was told that accounting was practical, yet questions prosper—to what extent can it be worth pursuing?

Like the lines in the song yearn for the love she outgrew, would I also remember the reasons why I’m here…all too well? Did I voluntarily choose this or was I blindly following a plan laid out in front of my face?

This isn’t what I love—I have thought. This could be great, uncertainly, as every time I get on the track, the realization kicks the question inside my head. Maybe just maybe, life will always be represented by a song; and it is all about time to think, reflect, and slowly understand the purpose of everything. Maybe one day, I will understand why I am here.

But for now, I might let this confusion linger for a little while, and I will keep asking “Ano raw?” until the day comes when everything finally makes sense.

“Ano raw? Tama bang nandito ako?” Just like me, you don’t have to rush to figure out things all at once. Much like the songs we listen to 24/7, life often comes with moments of confusion and uncertainty; it does not mean you are lost. Sometimes, it gives us questions to discover answers that lead to finding direction.